Scotty’s Escapades, Chapter IV: Scotty Defeats a Fearsome Enemy by Teleporting Weapons to Different Environments

Scotty Beam
5 min readNov 8, 2021

After his encounter with Bernard Wagner, Scotty wasn’t frightened.

He didn’t care about making enemies, even if they were very angry. He had once cheered for the Scottish football team in an English pub, so his fearlessness was legendary!

All the same, when he got the opportunity to do a bit of training with some of the Enterprise’s best battlers, he wasn’t going to say no. And if anyone asked, he’d just say he’d found a new passion for fitness!

Within fifteen minutes of beginning the training session, Scotty was so out of breath, he thought he was going to die. ‘God, who does this for fun?!’ he thought. The two other crewmates were smiling, talking about how they were enjoying the warm-up and it was then that Scotty realized he’d made a huge mistake. Then, he saw the arsenal of weapons brought in by one of the other trainers. Puzzled, he scuttled across to get some water and have a chat.

“When do we get to have a go with those?” Scotty asked, trying to grab one of the guns on the trolley as he spoke.

“These aren’t for you guys, I’m afraid. We’re training to beat a Romubot. We want to work out how to make weapons this powerful with the raw materials we can find. All we need is to get past that Romubot so we can work on our discoveries around the planet, but every time we try, he gets angrier and angrier! He’s dangerous!”

“Why don’t you just take these ones?” asked Scotty.

These weapons can’t be transported to that planet. They’re the best we’ve got and our only hope of getting past the Romubot, but as soon as we enter the planet’s atmosphere, they just vanish. We have to make new ones on the planet itself and even if we could access the materials, it’s just so time-consuming…” But he had barely finished his sentence before Scotty had scuttled out the door.

Now, some might have accused Scotty of trying to get out of his training session, but he was just being a good friend and leaving to work on transporting weapons to other planets. Not having to do anymore burpees just happened to be a perk.

After six hours of tinkering and toiling away, he was almost certain he’d figured it out. The crew members, however, were less convinced.

“So, you’re saying that we won’t have to make the weapons when we get there? We can just take these ones with us? But how can you be sure this will work?”

“Well, my teleporter hasn’t let me down yet!” declared Scotty confidently.

He may have had a reputation for being a procrastinator, but Scotty’s inventions usually inspired more faith than he did. That’s why it didn’t take long to get people on board with at least trying to transport their weapons. Still, the thought of getting there, discovering they were useless, and being promptly killed by the Romubot did make the crew a little nervous.

As they were moved into the planet’s atmosphere, Scotty looked around and was thrilled to see that the weapons were still there. The crew could barely believe it! Scotty had always had faith in himself, but it was always a relief to see a plan come together, especially when it was literally life and death!

As they landed and Scotty caught sight of the Romubot, he realized just why the crew had been so eager to bring the best weapons available. The Romubot was tall, and every inch the warrior. He had a fearsome countenance with a furrowed brow and he looked irritated to be bothered by the crew once again.

“You are testing my patience! How many times do I need to flick you insignificant bugs away before you get the message? I’ll kill you all!”

Scotty stepped forward confidently. “This time, Romubot, we’ve brought the good stuff!” He tried not to let his face betray him, but the Romubot was worried by the weapons he saw.

“How did you get these over here?” he bellowed!

“Your planet’s security system is nothing compared to my teleporter!” Scotty interjected with pride. Romubot glared, drawing a weapon from his sheath. Scotty didn’t hesitate, picking up a weapon of his own. He may not have been an expert at hand-to-hand combat, but this hamster sure could fire a laser! Just one shot and the Romubot’s weapon flew out of his hand. The crew ran forward, seizing the moment to breach the perimeter.

“No! You can’t have defeated me! I’m FREAKING unbeatable!” the Romubot screamed.

“Nothing’s unbeatable when you have the power of my teleporter!” Scotty laughed. Romubot was so despondent in defeat that he didn’t even attempt to fight the crew as they swarmed around him, moving in to see just what he’d been hiding.

They could never have predicted what they found…