Scotty’s Escapades, Chapter VI: Scotty Establishes Links Between Planets for Limitless NFT Exchanges
Scotty’s discovery that Ferengi was using exclusivity to line his own pockets had him wondering what else was going on with trading on this planet — and the surrounding ones.
Doohan was desperate to trade with his friends, but he had said that even when it was affordable, it was so much effort that it was barely worth doing. Scotty was dedicated to making trading and collecting easier for everyone, so he had to discover what was going on.
He decided to track down Doohan’s friend and trading partner, Pine, to find out why. It didn’t take him long — Pine resided on a planet that was so close by that Scotty thought he could probably throw a ball between the two. Well, he could if he didn’t have such tiny arms.
Pine spoke quickly and was clearly exasperated. “Well, the thing is, the postal system doesn’t go from planet to planet so you have to just go through all of this red tape. It’s hard because we all have stuff that would be great for each other’s collections, but you can’t override the rules of Mr Beveridge!”
“He’s the bureaucrat around here. No trading happens without him. Well, not much trading happens with him either. He’s determined there’s no other way.”
“Well, we could use my teleporter!”
“You can’t do anything without his approval!” Pine sighed.
Well, Scotty would see about that.
Before he could even speak to Mr Beveridge, Scotty had to fill out about twelve forms. ‘Good Lord, this is tedious,’ he thought to himself. He went to get a cup of tea in the waiting room for a bit of a break, but when he got there, there was even a form to be filled out before you could get a hot drink!. Scotty’s patience was at its limit.
After another 25 minutes of waiting, he was ushered into the office. Beveridge’s study was grand and intimidating, made more so by his choice to have his back to the door, looking out of the window. His suit was well tailored and a bowler hat sat atop his head. Scotty began to sit down when Mr Beveridge turned around suddenly, giving Scotty quite a fright. He might not have been the size of a regular hamster, but cats would always have him on his guard.
Harold Beveridge did not seem surprised to see Scotty’s appearance at all.
“Mr Beam, thank you for coming. I hear you’ve had some,” he took a very deliberate pause, “criticisms of my system.”
“Well, aye, you’ve made it much harder than it needs to be!”
“I believe that would be a matter of opinion. When I first started this role,” Oh god, what had Scotty unleashed? He was actually monologuing. “…in order to make things smoother for everyone, you have to be sure that people are only sending what they really want to send, so you can get rid of timewasters.”
“Wait a minute. You’re not stopping people from sending spam, you’re stopping friends communicating. You’re stopping people from trading freely! All you need to do is remove the red tape and you’ll be putting freedom back in the hands of the people! Ever heard of continuous improvement? Ever heard of KAIZEN?”
“Unfortunately,” Mr Beveridge Began, “that’s the last thing on my agenda. People need order from this centralized institution and I will do my best to keep that running, Mr Beam! Now unless there’s anything else?”
An idea flashed into Scotty’s mind. He knew the instructions and regulations were all kept in Beveridge’s computer. If he could distract him long enough, he could get rid of the computer and the regulations for good. Mr Beveridge hadn’t proven himself to be a regular cat up until now, but it was always worth a try! Scotty stood up to leave the office.
“Aye, I’m sorry to have wasted your time, Sir.” he said as Beveridge walked him to the door.
“Well, that’s okay, Mr Beam. I’m glad you see it from my perspective.”
“Oh aye, I can see that. There’s just one more thing…” Suddenly, Scotty smashed through the fire alarm, setting it off with a deafening ring. Then, the sprinklers kicked into action and Mr Beveridge instantly began to hiss. It was working!
In complete distress, desperately searching for somewhere to hide, he bounded out of the building, leaving Scotty to grab the computer and take it back to the Enterprise. Now he could help everyone use his teleporter at long last.
“Scotty! You did it!” Pine yelled, “We can use the teleporter and swap things effortlessly now! How can I ever thank you?”
“Oh, there’s no need to thank me,” shrugged Scotty. “Well, except with a bottle of scotch and a good cat repellent!” Scotty knew he didn’t have time to chat. He needed to get off the planet before Mr Beveridge decided to take his vengeance.